To my son.

My sweet little boy.
I know all people think their children are the most wonderful but I know that you have them all beat, hands down. There's not a child in the world that is more beautiful, inside and outside, than you are. I feel the need to address you directly in the hopes that maybe someday in the future you can read this and perhaps understand a little bit more of what has gone on in your life to make it what it has been so far. I hope that you understand that I do my best for you, and everything that I do is in one way or another for your benefit. I know that the past few weeks and months have been some of your hardest. It's shown in your behaviour at times. We've had our battles, the daycare has too, but throughout it all I've never once stopped loving you as much as it is humanly possible. You make my heart ache just to look at you and how perfect you are. The thought of ever losing you nearly makes my heart stop and my breath catch. That's why I'm so sad that this has all been hard on you, and for the time being is probably not going to get any easier. I do my best for you, and I think I still fall short all too often. I only ever wanted the best for you and I seem to make enough mistakes that it's not always possible. I just want you to know that throughout all this and whatever happens in the future, I wanted so much more for you. My intentions and motivations were always good, they were always noble, but my failures glaring, and at times utterly stupid.
Please know that whatever happens baby boy, you are the one thing that keeps me from falling apart altogether. You are perfect just the way you are and your very existence makes my life worthwhile. I love you so much. Please understand that much at the very least.
Love Mom