Pruning and Tuning.

So, if anyone's on here that has been here in the past, you may notice a few things missing...a few things changed...a few less posts than there was at one point in time. This represents a landmark for this blog. This is the first time I have actively censored what was written on here. Anyone actively involved in my life realizes why this is: I'm just not taking any chances. I really don't think there was anything on here that would compromise my character or integrity when it comes to legal proceedings or my relationship with my son, but never-the-less, I have taken precautionary steps and removed anything that was even the slightest bit controversial in this sense. I've also made it more difficult to find this blog, so generally, it's not possible to stumble across here. I don't honestly think that Reese's dad is reading what I post on here...or that he'd actually understand much of it, or have the patience to read it anyway (oops, petty right? whatever, I speak only the truth) but in the interest of security, I felt like I should change a few things. Not to mention that it's actually kind of cathartic to delete old posts. Of course, they're not gone, but saved in private files, but they are gone from here, and it's actually kind of freeing to rid myself of the old. I'm moving forward here. I'm actually cautiously optimistic about the future right now. I'm not sure what the next few weeks or months will hold for me. I know that there are about to be some major changes taking place, but I think they will be quite gradual and slow, and I know they will be well thought out. I'm smarter than I once was...or at least more experienced, and I'm aiming to make far fewer mistakes in the future. I'm pretty confident that I know what I want out of life. I think I'm going to get there, and I think I've thought it through enough, and taken enough time since everything last blew up in my face...I'm in a pretty good place right now. I'm comfortable with my solitary existence. I'm open to positive change, but only positive change. I recognize where I've gone wrong...and in moving forward I'm not about to make any more of those mistakes. We teach people how to treat us...and I'm in a better position to demand better treatment. I'm also more resolved about my attitudes: I like feminist ideals, I do think women are different but equal...but I'm also a sucker for chivalry. It's a little contradictory, but I'm okay with that at this point in time. And I'm trying to resolve these views into actual behaviours.

For now: It's Sunday. I'm hanging out with the little boy out at the farm with the parents and the new puppy, older puppy and two cats. Sun is starting to come out today, and I'm going to bottle this new batch of red wine before I head back to the city this afternoon. I start a new job in the morning, and life is even and okay. Until Tuesday, when all hell may break loose. I hope it's not too bad. I hope it's easily resolved. I'm begging the cosmic forces for a little bit of good will and mercy here. There's just been too much conflict already...and I'm so tired of being pushed around.